fine...i'll make a blog

it's funny how quickly sites like this spread. since everyone uses blogger, i may as well make one for myself. ok, so now that i sound like one of those lame-o's who does something because EVERYONE else is doing it, i shall allow you to read my mind.

and now for the "after-college post"
it's weird to think that 4 years of my life flew by like it was 4 months. it really hasn't sunk in that i won't be moving back to bing in 3 months. it feels like another one of those years where i move all my stuff back home and don't really have to unpack it all because i know i'll just pack it again at the end of the summer. but, that's not exactly true anymore. graduation was definitely one of those anti-climactic moments in life for me. it was strange because the last month or so leading up to graduation had all the signs of the end of college. i went to my own senior banquet (which was incredibly weird. i'll discuss that later), i started to hang out with people more, i had no real work to do, people kept on asking me, "so, what are you doing after graduation?", i began to try to do as many things as possible in bing that i never did, i attended my last large group, i went all out at denny's...twice, and the list could go on. but, despite all of that, i refused to accept the fact that i'd be leaving this place and never coming back (ok, not never, but not for school...maybe). bing has been good to me. there's so many friendships that i've made that will last forever. there are things i've learned that have changed me forever. everything happens for a reason, right? i guess i was meant to be at bing and went through a lot of crap and a lot of good for a reason. i probably don't know that reason or reasons right now, but i will. and i trust that God will show me in His time.

so, what did i learn these past 4 years? thanks for asking. that's a good question. whenever i think about what i learned, the first thing that comes to mind is my pride. wow, i was a brat when i was little. and when i say "little" i mean life up until freshman year of college. i look back on how i interacted with people and i realize that i thought i was all that and a bag of chips. now i know why tiff didn't like me when i we were in 5th grade. it makes sense. the truth is, i'm totally not at all as special as i thought i was. God really broke me down and told me that i need to learn how to be humble and modest. i'm nothing...really. what makes me something is Jesus. i've grown closer to Christ these past 4 year more than i can remember. what's funny is this: i don't deserve anything God gives me. i'm unworthy of His grace. but, He gives it to me anyway. it boggles my mind. i mean, i know why he gives it: His love. but i don't know why he loves me like He does. HA! i just realized that i referenced 2 praise songs that bing's IV praise team loves: unashamed and love me like you do. haha. anyways, despite all of the up and downs of college, God brought me through. there were more ups than downs. so, if there's one thing that i can encourage you with, it's this: know that no matter how low you think you've hit, you'll be back higher than you ever thought because of the hope that Christ gives us. His love is bigger and greater than anything we can imagine. and when you experience that hope and that love, you'll want to love others just as much. (maybe that was 2 things...but they're tied together)

as much as i'm going to tie everything together, it's probably not going to work. but i'll try anyways. hang in there! there's only a little more i want to say in this post.

senior year was probably my favorite out of all 4 years. now, don't get me wrong, alumni, you guys are great. you cared for me in so many ways and couldn't even begin to tell you how thankful i am. but, the truth is, being an upperclassman and caring for underclassmen is infinitely times better than being the underclassman that's being cared for. i met so many underclassmen that had a lot of energy, passion, fire, and flat out awesome-ness. a lot of people talked about how awesome the seniors are, how we're leaving a legacy, and all that jazz. i really do appreciate all this and i'm glad that we've impacted you guys so much, but know that it's not really us that are the ones to thank and build up. it's all about God. it's through His love that we do what we do. we all serve one purpose: to glorify God.

ok, i'm tired. i think i will tell you part 2 later.